Pamiętam
by Meagan Snow
Summary: A short Fic depicting the burning of Warsaw. Better than it sounds, please read :) Teen!Pol, Serious!Pol, Hopeless?Pol. Centered around my OC for Warsaw. Details inside.


**Hey all. This is just a really random thing that I thought of after seeing a movie about the fire of Warsaw. I made a picture out of it, and decided that it fit a plot that had started to form in my head. **

**So here it is. Warning: may be somewhat depressing. **

**INCLUDES MY OC: Halina "Sawa" Wagarowicz, aka Warsaw **

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_Pamiętam. _

_I remember. _

_I remember every day. I remember every hour. As much as I try to forget, I will always remember. _

_I remember who she used to be. Before. Before the war, before the end. Before the world collapsed onto our heads. _

_I remember it every time I look at her. I don't see who she is now. I see who she was before. _

_Warsaw. My Sawa. The one thing I can never forgive and forget about. _

_Every time I close my eyes, I can still see it. I can still hear the sirens, I can still feel the heat from the fire, I can still see the tongues of flame eating away at everything that ever was_.

The pain in my stomach caused by the flames ravaging my capital city had long since subsided from sharp pangs into a dull ache. An ache that reminded me of what was happening. As if it wasn't real enough. I gave a look to Sawa next to me, finally tearing my eyes away from the window. We were safe. Observing from afar. The fire wasn't a danger to us at that point.

I had expected to see her in no more pain than my own, and was shocked to see that she was curled up in a ball on the floor, sobbing. I had never seen her cry. Not her. Not before or since. She is like me that way. Pretends everything is happy even if… it isn't.

It was at that point that I really realized the scale of what was happening. It had all been so faraway. So surreal. But now, it really hit home.

I knelt down beside her and tried to put my arm around her shoulders, but she cried out in agony when I had hardly touched her. Instead, I settled for gently gripping her hand in mine. I was beginning to panic. I didn't know what I could possibly do to help her. I tried to think of something, but my mind drew a complete blank. Nothing. All those times she had saved me when I was hurt, and I couldn't do a thing for her when the tables were reversed.

Her palm jerked out of mine when she bent inwards, attacked by another bout of pain so strong, she was left gasping for breath.

"Sawa…" I whispered, seeing her hazel eyes fixed on my own."…I'm sorry…"

I had felt so guilty at that moment for not being in the same amount of pain as her. Because she was a city, not a Nation, to her it had to feel like the entire country was on fire. I had tried to imagine that scenario afterward, but it always evaded my grasp. It can't be imagined. You have to be there. See it happen.

A sudden light flared outside the window. Another street had caught fire, sending her into another anguished spasm. This repeated itself so many times that night, I had lost count.

The night dragged on, but the fire never seemed to lessen. It ate away at the city relentlessly. I was also crying by that point. I had never felt so helpless. I could feel her DYING in front of me. The spasms had become further and further apart, but not because the inferno had finally burned itself out. It was simply because Sawa was too exhausted to react.

She had lost consciousness about an hour ago. I didn't know whether to take this as a good sign, that she wouldn't be suffering as much, or a bad sign.

That the unthinkable might happen.

I still remember the terror that I felt, still a teen, and my best friend might have died. I didn't try to hide it from myself. Russia had taught me that death is real. Germany had taught me that death is real. The war had taught me that death is real.

I wasn't sure if she was still breathing, so I leaned in to check. To feel the reassuring rise and fall of her chest. To know that she was still fighting. As I was about to return to my previous position at her side, I felt something grope around and grab my hand in a weak squeeze.

I started. I wanted to laugh and cry, all at once. She was awake. There was next words, however, crushed anything that might have risen up.

"Nothing…" Her voice was little more than a breath. I had to lean in to be able to distinguish anything. "Nothing…left."

"No. Sawa, don't say that, you can't!" I pleaded.

"No more. This is the end…" She took a deep breath, and smiled. It was the smile that really sent me spiraling into the abyss. She knew. She felt that this was the end.

"Feliks… _pamiętaj_." Her eyes closed again, and it was obvious that she knew that she couldn't go on. That she couldn't keep up. That after everything, after _Rudy, Alek, a_nd _Zośka_, after the Action under the Arsenal, after the shootings, the battles, the rebellions stemmed before they had a chance to bloom, she had finally broken.

I couldn't accept it. I couldn't. I wouldn't.

The very effort of picking her up was enough to make spots dance before my eyes as I fought not to black out in my weakened state. As much as I hadn't noticed it when it was happening, the disaster had taken a lot out of me. My capital city had just mostly burned down, after all.

I half-carried, half-dragged her down from the safehouse that we had been staying in and onto the pavement. Everybody was running. Chaos. People with buckets toward what was still left of the flames. Families, women, children, elders either running away or simply walking aimlessly. It wasn't like they had anywhere to go. Anything left.

"_Pomóżcie_." I pleaded. _Help me_. It was aimed at everybody, at nobody in particular, but it felt like nobody heard me over the screams, the sobs, the cries. I was just another one of them. Another refugee. Just as lost, just as alone, just as desperate.

"_Błagam_." _Please. I'm begging._

The nearest hospital that hadn't been incinerated was at least a dozen blocks down. I couldn't… I had to make it. They would help her there. They had to. I had to.

Just another pair of victims. Nobody more.

I tried once again to take her into my arms, with similar effect. I took a breath of the hot, ashy air that had been raised by my movement and almost choked. The thought that I had to make it kept me going. Kept me walking even though the edges of my vision were blurring into black. I just closed my eyes and kept walking, focusing on not stopping. Not stopping. Not falling, not stopping.

I felt myself collide with someone. I never found out who. But I was sent falling backwards. I couldn't stop it, and couldn't get up. I was too exhausted. I lay on the ground a long while afterwards, too dazed to even realize what was going on.

After what could have been a few minutes or a few days, I vaguely registered a commotion around me. Shouting. But nothing seemed to fit together into a whole. A strong pair of arms grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up. I faintly realized that I was being moved, and that someone was keeping up a comforting banter in my native language while I half-slept. I didn't want it to end, but I had to ask.

"Sawa…?" I mumbled quietly.

"Shh. Your friend is right next to you. She'll be fine."

I think I blacked out after that, because my next memory was waking up on an improvised mattress on the floor of one of the few buildings that had been saved.

"What…?"

"You're awake." A voice next to me noticed. I turned around to face a tall man, with brown hair and eyes, surveying me thoughtfully.

"Where…?" I tried again, placing a hand to my pounding head. Something wasn't right. I had a bandage tied over it.

"Shh. You hit your head pretty hard when you fell, but you'll be fine."

"Fell…?"

"Saving your sick friend. You and her were lying in the middle of the road, barely alive."

"Sawa…!" I shouted suddenly, wincing as the sound reverberated in my skull.

"She's fine. She's stable. They're keeping her in the hospital for now. The only reason you're here is because they didn't think you were sick enough to be first-priority. You saved her life, son. You should be proud of yourself. What's your name?"

"F… Feliks."

"Well, Feliks, it's only thanks to you that this story has a happy ending. She will be fine, and you should be up and about in no time."

"I want to see Sawa." I was slowly regaining the ability to speak in full sentences.

"Eat first. You almost died of exhaustion." He pointed to a bowl of broth that had had to be previously laid out for this very reason. I suddenly realized how hungry I was as I grabbed the spoon.

As I ate, the man asked me several questions.

"Who are you kids? Your… Sawa refused to say anything. I need to know before we go so that I can help you find your families."

I stared ahead of myself blankly, trying to formulate a coherent reply.

"I'm Feliks Łukasiewicz. From Warsaw."

He nodded, encouraging me to continue, but I didn't mention anything except our names.

"And… she is Halina Wagarowicz. My…" I bit my tongue, trying not to say "_capital_."

"We don't have families." The man didn't say a word after that, only gave me another thoughtful look.

True to his word, he took me to the hospital to see Warsaw as soon as I was feeling well enough to walk that was conscious, and even managed a shy wave in my direction.

"You have to understand." He explained to me while we were still out of earshot."She won't be the same girl you knew before. She has been through serious trauma, and will be lucky ever to return to normality."

I nodded numbly, looking at her and smiling back. I then advanced forward to sit at the feet of the bed.

"Feliks…?"

_Later, when I turned back to see the man again, he had disappeared. I never found out who he was afterward. Nobody knew who he was. __I had never thanked him. For saving our lives. Offering to find our families. Everything._

_Sawa returned to normality at an astonishing rate after that. The nurse didn't want to believe her progress when she released the city from the hospital. _

_She always pretended it was nothing. That nothing had happened. It hurt to see her close off from me like that, but it was for the best if it helped her cope. __And pretend she does to this day. But I can see that it wasn't, and I know it's only me. She doesn't know that I know, and I intend to keep it that way. Moving on, moving forward, pretending that the past never happened. I don't know which of us needs this more._

_But I still remember. And so does she. _

_Pamiętam. Zawsze._

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**What did you think of it? I quite literally wrote it at one in the morning. Please review and tell me what you think!**


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